How to Make Big Life Changes Without Clarity First
Everyone tells you to get clear before you act. That's exactly why you're stuck.
I’ve been on a mission to interview 100 high performers and entrepreneurs, people who’ve radically changed their lives. Different stories. Different ages. Different careers.
I thought I’d hear about the moment everything became clear. I didn’t.
Looking back at all the lives I’ve lived, I can say I waited too. I was scared, felt uncomfortable, and sometimes waited too long.
The business failure took 3 years, and COVID hit before we took action. My first marriage ended, and I knew for 6 years I needed to get out, but I didn’t have the courage to take action. Looking back, deep down, I knew walking down the aisle that it would end badly. But that’s a story for another day.
Here’s the thing about courage. It doesn’t get easier, and taking the first action doesn’t get more comfortable. But courage is like a trained muscle. The more you understand what courage looks like to you, the easier it gets to take that step.
Hack #1 - How to Define Your Worst-Case Scenario
One of the hacks I use to stack courage in my favour is defining your worst-case scenario, and you do it when everything is good in your life. When our business went to shit, my husband was worried that his parents would lose their house, their life savings, and all of us would live under the bridge.
Well, when we went through the worst-case scenario again, properly, we concluded the worst that would happen was us selling the house, moving in with my husband’s parents, and paying the debt until we got back on our feet.
That’s pretty different, right? And with that in mind, making risky, transformative decisions became easier. Every decision we took after that was based on a realistic worst-case scenario, and it made the decisions feel less risky.
Hack #2 - Stop Asking Old Friends for Advice
Nothing in nature is meant to stay the same. Everything changes, tides, seasons, you get the point. So when you feel like change is in order, don’t consult the people currently in your life. They know and like your current version. Jealousy, selfishness, sometimes even love dressed up as concern, it all points the same direction. They want you to stay the same.
Personally, I lost friends for more than one reason. When I got divorced, close friends stopped talking to me because they felt threatened. Like I would jump their partners, because I was single. WTF?
